Whether you’re a fan of these hefty river dwellers or just in the mood for some clever wordplay, this collection is guaranteed to make you grin from tusk to tail. Hippos might be known for their massive size and love for water, but here they’re splashing into comedy with belly-shaking humor and pun-packed punchlines. So open wide—like a hippo’s mouth—and get ready to dive into a world of hilarious hippo humor that’ll have you laughing louder than a herd at bath time!
Table of Contents
Hippo Jokes
Why did the hippo join the band?
Because he had the best hippo-phone solo!
What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of party?
A splash bash!
Why did the hippo get promoted?
He was great at heavy lifting.
How do hippos say goodbye?
“See you later-gator! Oh wait… that’s not me!”
Why was the hippo sitting at the computer?
He wanted to surf the wet-net.
What’s a hippo’s favorite sport?
Water polo, of course!
Why do hippos make terrible detectives?
Because they always leave big footprints.
What did one hippo say to the other at lunch?
“I’m feeling a little snack-ish today!”
Why did the hippo cross the river?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What’s a hippo’s favorite bedtime story?
“Goldilocks and the Three Splash Pools.”
Why don’t hippos ever lie?
Because they’re too grounded for fibs!
How do hippos stay in shape?
They do plank-tons in the water.
Why did the hippo blush?
Because he saw the ele-phanties!
What kind of makeup do hippos wear?
Blubber gloss.
Why was the hippo such a good friend?
He always waded for others.
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music?
River rock.
What’s a hippo’s favorite school subject?
Hydrology!
Why don’t hippos shop online?
Because they always break the cart.
How do hippos answer the phone?
“Hippo there!”
What game do hippos love at the fair?
Whack-a-gator!
Why was the hippo so calm?
Because he practiced hippo-nic breathing.
What do hippos eat on their birthday?
Cake by the river.
Why do hippos hate winter?
Because there’s no mud to roll in!
What’s a hippo’s dream job?
A lifeguard—he’s already built for it!
What do hippos write in their diaries?
“Dear Mud, today was amazing again.”
Why do hippos love jokes?
Because they love a good belly laugh!
What do you call a sneaky hippo?
A hippo-crite.
Why did the hippo skip gym class?
He said, “I’m already thick-skinned!”
What do you get when a hippo learns to code?
Heavy programming!
What did the hippo say after dinner?
“I’m full-o-potamus!“
Why don’t hippos argue?
They hate mud-slinging.
What does a hippo wear to the beach?
A hippo-kini!
Why did the hippo fail art class?
He kept coloring outside the swamp.
What’s a baby hippo’s favorite toy?
A floaty shaped like mom.
How do hippos flirt?
With a wink and a wiggle—splash guaranteed!
Hippo Dad Jokes
What do you call a hippo that loves to grill?
A barbe-cute-us!
Why did the hippo sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to become a hot-potamus!
What do hippo dads say when it’s bedtime?
“It’s time to wade down and snooze.”
What’s a hippo’s favorite side dish?
Mashed puddle-tatoes.
Why don’t hippos do well at hide-and-seek?
Because they always leave a mud trail.
What do you call a hippo that can fix anything?
A handy-potamus.
Why did the hippo wear suspenders?
To hold up his hippo-pants!
How do hippos cheer each other up?
With a big hug and a splash.
Why don’t hippo dads tell scary stories?
Because they wet their own pond!
What’s a hippo’s favorite tool?
A hippo-wrench!
Why did the hippo apply for a loan?
To open a mud spa.
Why don’t hippos make good ninjas?
Because every step goes squish!
What do you call a musical hippo?
A hip-hop-potamus.
What did the hippo say when he tripped?
“I just had a mudslide moment.”
Why was the hippo afraid of elevators?
He didn’t want to weigh down the group.
How do hippo dads measure distance?
In mud puddle lengths.
What did the hippo name his boat?
The Floaty Fatty.
Why did the hippo start a podcast?
To share his deep river thoughts.
Why did the dad hippo get kicked out of the movie theater?
He snored louder than the action scenes!
What do hippos do on Father’s Day?
Float around while pretending not to nap.
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of car?
A Mudcedes-Benz.
Why did the hippo wear glasses?
To see his reflection better.
How do hippos tell time?
By the sun and snack o’clock.
What’s a hippo’s dream vacation?
Anywhere with extra mud and zero people.
What did the hippo bring to the picnic?
A lake-sized sandwich.
What do hippo dads yell at sports games?
“Go big or go home!”
Why do hippos love storytelling?
Because they embellish like whales.
What’s a hippo’s motto in life?
“Stay grounded, stay muddy.”
What’s the hippo version of a treadmill?
Swimming against the pond current.
What did the hippo say at the zoo?
“I’m not fat, I’m just big-boned and hydrated!”
Why don’t hippos use social media?
Too many snappy gators online.
What do hippo dads say before a meal?
“Let’s dig in… hippo-style!”
Hippopotamus Jokes
What do you call a hippopotamus who can sing?
A hippopopera-star!
Why did the hippopotamus sit on the remote?
Because he wanted to flatten the channels!
What did the hippopotamus say after a long swim?
“That was exhausting—I’m all waded out!”
Why don’t hippopotamuses play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs!
What do you call a fashionable hippopotamus?
Hippo-chic!
Why was the hippopotamus late to work?
Because he was stuck in the mud again.
What’s a hippopotamus’s favorite dessert?
Swampberry pie!
Why did the hippopotamus start meditating?
To find his inner splash.
What do you get when a hippo becomes a magician?
Hippo-dini!
What kind of movies do hippopotamuses love?
Mud-dramas and water comedies!
What’s a hippopotamus’s favorite app?
SplashChat!
What did the baby hippo say at bedtime?
“Can I have just one more puddle story?”
What do you call a sleepy hippopotamus?
A hippo-napamus.
Why don’t hippopotamuses play hide and seek?
Because even behind a tree, they’re still visible.
What’s a hippo’s go-to drink?
Muddy water on the rocks.
Why did the hippo start a fitness channel?
He wanted to help others shed their mud pounds.
What game do hippopotamuses never lose?
Marco Puddle-o!
Why was the hippo such a good listener?
He had big ears and an even bigger heart.
What’s a hippopotamus’s favorite board game?
Hungry Hungry Hippos, obviously!
Why do hippos never gossip?
Because they don’t believe in mud-slinging.
Why did the hippo open a bakery?
To sell giant doughnuts with extra splash!
What kind of phone does a hippo use?
An iMud.
How do hippos stay cool in the summer?
Swamp-cicles and mud baths!
What’s a hippopotamus’s favorite pickup line?
“Are you water? Because I’m drawn to you.”
Why did the hippo take a math class?
To work on his mud-ules.
What do hippos eat on their cheat days?
River floats and lily-pad chips.
Why did the hippo fail art class?
He couldn’t stop drawing in mud.
How do hippos plan vacations?
They check the splash forecast.
Why did the hippo join a yoga class?
To master the mud pose.
What’s a hippopotamus’s favorite hobby?
Bubble watching.
Why don’t hippos brag?
Because they’re humble-potamuses.
Hippo Jokes One Liners
My pet hippo ate my homework… and then the desk
A hippo in a hurry still looks like he’s on vacation
The hippo tried ballet, but kept flattening the stage
My hippo’s favorite sport? Water break dancing
When hippos whisper, it still echoes across the lake
Hippos don’t text back — they prefer pond signals
I told my hippo a joke — he gave me a slow blink
The hippo opened a smoothie shop — everything’s made of mud
My hippo tried to sneak up on me — he stepped on the porch
When hippos meditate, the whole swamp gets quiet
A hippo in glasses? Now that’s a muddy professor
Hippos don’t do drama — they just roll with it
That hippo’s got moves — he invented swamp salsa
I invited a hippo to dinner… now I need a new table
My hippo snores like a thunderstorm with rhythm
Even hippos feel awkward in skinny jeans
That hippo on stage? He’s got comedy chops
You haven’t danced until you’ve seen a hippo do the worm
I asked my hippo to smile — he gave me a waterfall
A hippo’s idea of a snack? A salad bar… and the bar
The hippo started a podcast — just heavy breathing and laughs
Hippos don’t jog — they wade with purpose
When a hippo laughs, even the birds fly off
I asked a hippo for fashion tips — he said “Wear mud”
Hippos don’t multitask — unless it involves mud and snacks
My hippo friend is on a diet — he only ate half the lake today
Hippos always bring the party… and the pond
Even in a tuxedo, a hippo still looks ready to belly flop
A hippo’s favorite ride? The splash coaster
Hippo Puns
You’re hippo-thetically the best friend ever!
Feeling down? Let me send you a hippo-ton of hugs.
You’ve got me feeling all hippo-tional today.
This weather is un-hippo-lievable!
You’re looking hippo-stylish today!
I’m in a hippo-sized mood for snacks.
Don’t worry, I’m just a little hippo-thetical right now.
This plan is hippo-approved and ready to go!
You’re my hippo-homie for life.
I can’t bear it… I’m going hippo-crazy without you!
That joke was so bad it made me hippo-laugh.
Feeling cute, might take a hippo-selfie later.
You’re my one and only hippo-crush.
You’re the hippo-light of my day!
Let’s keep it low-key and hippo-chill.
She’s so sweet, she gave me a hippo-toothache!
I’m swimming in joy — this is hippo-bliss!
You’re not heavy, you’re my hippo-buddy.
I’m totally hippo-flattered by your compliment!
That outfit is giving serious hippo-fashion vibes.
You’re so cool, it’s hippo-possible to ignore you.
I’m feeling oddly hippo-zen today.
This dance move is called the hippo-hop!
You made my heart go hippo-thump.
He was so mad, he went full hippo-mode.
That pool party? It was a total hippo-splash!
I’m not lazy, I’m just hippo-relaxed.
This joke is hippo-diculous!
I’d cross the jungle for you, no hippo-crisy.
I’m just here for the hippo-snacks.
That’s not a plan, that’s a hippo-hazard!
Let’s go out and make some hippo-memories.
You really are my hippo-hero.
That hug felt like a hippo-squeeze — and I loved it!
Stay wild, stay hippo-hearted.
Hippo Love Puns
You make my hippo-heart race.
I’m hippo-tized by your love.
You’re my one and only hippo-honey.
I’ve got a hippo-sized crush on you.
You’re my hippo-ever after.
Let’s be each other’s hippo-happily ever after.
I’m hippo-over-heels in love with you.
Your love is my favorite kind of muddy mess.
We’re a perfect hippo-pair!
You’re the reason I smile like a happy hippo.
You’re the mud to my puddle, the splash in my heart.
Let’s float together forever — just two love-hippos.
My love for you is wider than a river full of hippos.
You’re the hippo to my hug, the splash to my soul.
You had me at “hippo.”
Let’s be hippo-snuggled forever.
You complete my hippo-soul.
We go together like hippos and water.
Your love is the only thing I’ll ever wade through life for.
You’re my hippo-ever, not just for now.
I’m hippo-lutely in love with you.
You’re my hippo-cuddle buddy for life.
You make my heart go splash.
You’re my hippo-dream come true.
My heart’s not just full — it’s hippo-sized with love for you.
I’m wildly, deeply, hippo-lovingly into you.
You’re my reason to be hippo-happy.
I never tusked for anything more than you.
Our love is as strong and splashy as a hippo’s hug.
Final Thought:
From silly one-liners to cute wordplay, hippos prove they’re not just big—they’re full of humor too. Whether you’re telling a joke to a friend or just need a quick smile, these giggles are ready to make your day brighter. Keep enjoying the laughs and feel free to share the fun with others.
