Get ready for some fun! These Pirate Jokes are full of simple, funny jokes that will make you laugh on deck. Whether you like pirates or just enjoy silly jokes, these will make your day full of smiles and giggles.
Table of Contents
Pirate Jokes
Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrrrr-ticulation!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good arrrrr-angement!
What do pirates eat for lunch?
Fish and ships!
Why did the pirate go to the doctor?
He had a case of scurvy!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You might think it’s R, but it’s actually the C!
Why did the pirate take up boxing?
He wanted to improve his hook!
Why don’t pirates go to strip malls?
Because they only shop at the cove!
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye!
Why did the pirate carry a pencil and paper?
To draw his own treasure map!
What do you call a pirate who skips school?
Captain Hooky!
What is a pirate’s favorite exercise?
Plank!
Why do pirates avoid playing cards at sea?
Because of all the sharks!
How do pirates like their steaks?
On the high seas!
What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?
Booty and the Beast!
Why did the pirate put his money in the blender?
He wanted to make liquid assets!
How do pirates prefer to travel?
On a yarrrn!
What’s a pirate’s favorite dessert?
Treasure chest cake!
Why did the pirate get a job at the bakery?
He wanted to make some dough!
How do pirates prefer their sandwiches?
With lots of arrrrr-tichokes!
What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Arrr-tichokes!
Why did the pirate refuse to play chess?
He was afraid of being check-mated!
How do pirates stay in shape?
By doing planks and squaaaarrrts!
What do pirates use to clean the deck?
A mop-arrr!
Why did the pirate sit on the clock?
He wanted to be on time!
What’s a pirate’s favorite candy?
Jawbreakers!
Why did the pirate buy a car?
Because his ship was out of gas!
How do pirates fix their clothes?
With an arrrrrr-mend!
What’s a pirate’s favorite fruit?
Arrr-nanas!
Why did the pirate go to the library?
To improve his arrrrr-ticulate vocabulary!
Childrens Pirate Jokes
Why did the pirate go to school?
To learn his arrrrr-ticulation!
What is a pirate’s favorite game?
Hide and arrrrr-seek!
Why did the pirate bring a backpack?
To carry his treasure snacks!
What’s a pirate’s favorite color?
Gold, of course!
Why did the pirate bring a map to the playground?
So he wouldn’t get lost on the slide!
How do pirates say hello?
Ahoy, matey!
What do pirates put on their sandwiches?
Arrr-mayo!
Why did the pirate sit on the swing?
He wanted to sail the air seas!
What do pirates drink in the morning?
Arrr-ange juice!
Why did the pirate go to art class?
To draw treasure maps!
Why did the pirate take a nap?
He needed to recharge his arrrrr-mor!
How do pirates travel to school?
On a school ship!
What do pirates do when it rains?
They play in the puddle seas!
Why did the pirate go to the zoo?
To see the sea-lions!
What do pirates wear on sunny days?
Argh-lasses!
Why did the pirate join the choir?
He wanted to hit the high arrr-otes!
What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
Goldfish crackers!
Why did the pirate take a pencil to bed?
To draw dreams of treasure!
What is a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrr-t and crafts!
Why did the pirate bring a balloon?
To sail it in the air seas!
How do pirates write letters?
With arrrrr-pen!
Why did the pirate climb the jungle gym?
To be the captain of the playground!
What is a pirate’s favorite ice cream?
Chocolate booty!
Why did the pirate bring a hat to school?
To keep his arrrrr under cover!
What do pirates do at a birthday party?
Dig for cake treasure!
Why did the pirate take a rubber duck on board?
For bath-time adventures!
How do pirates tell jokes?
With lots of arrrr-laughs!
What do pirates do when they lose a shoe?
Look under the arrrr-chway!
Why did the pirate put a ladder on the playground slide?
So he could climb to the crow’s nest!
What do pirates write in their diaries?
All about their arrrrr-ventures!
Why did the pirate bring a teddy bear?
To guard his treasure!
What do pirates sing in the shower?
Shiver me timbers songs!
Why did the pirate wear boots to school?
To stomp through the classroom seas!
What do pirates say before bedtime?
Sleep tight, matey!
Why did the pirate bring crayons?
To color his treasure map!
Pirate Jokes Funny
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To work on his arrrrr-ms!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of joke?
One with a good arrrrr-punchline!
Why did the pirate bring a broom on his ship?
To sweep the seven seas!
What do pirates use to fix their hair?
Arrr-gel!
Why did the pirate go to the dentist?
He needed a little arrr-angement!
What’s a pirate’s favorite sport?
Arrr-football!
Why did the pirate wear two eyepatches?
He couldn’t decide which eye to arrr-tend with!
What do pirates put on their toast?
Arrr-jam!
Why did the pirate go to the bakery?
To get some buccaneer buns!
What do pirates call their pets?
Arrr-mates!
Why did the pirate sit on a pillow?
To soften the plank!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with a lot of arrr-tion!
Why did the pirate bring a notebook?
To keep track of his arrr-ventures!
What do pirates call their phones?
Cell-arrr!
Why did the pirate take a nap on the deck?
He wanted to rest his sea legs!
What’s a pirate’s favorite candy?
Jaw-arrr-breakers!
Why did the pirate put a bell on his ship?
So he wouldn’t get arrr-lost!
How do pirates like their eggs?
Scrambl-arrr-ed!
Why did the pirate paint his ship?
To make it look arrr-tastic!
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The arrr-guitar!
Why did the pirate bring a pillow to the crow’s nest?
He wanted to rest in high arrr!
What do pirates wear to a party?
Arrr-morous outfits!
What do pirates drink on a hot day?
Argh-ade!
Why did the pirate carry a pen and paper?
To sign arrr-tifacts!
What’s a pirate’s favorite sandwich?
Arrr-tichoke spread!
Why did the pirate cross the playground?
To get to the other arrr-side!
How do pirates celebrate birthdays?
With lots of arrr-cake!
Why did the pirate bring a flashlight?
To shine on hidden treasure!
What do pirates wear in winter?
Arrr-mittens!
Why did the pirate go to music class?
To learn the arrr-chestra!
What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
Chips on the ship!
Why did the pirate put a clock on his ship?
To keep arrr-time!
How do pirates clean their ships?
With a mop-arrr!
What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday?
Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Why did the pirate bring a kite?
To fly it over the arrr-sea!
Best Pirate Jokes
Why did the pirate go to the doctor?
He had a bad case of arrr-thritis!
What is a pirate’s favorite type of cookie?
Choco-arrr-chip!
Why did the pirate bring a pencil on board?
To draw treasure maps!
What do pirates do when they get tired?
They take a long arrr-nap!
Why did the pirate wear sunglasses?
Because his future was too bright, arrr!
What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?
Booty and the Beast!
Why did the pirate go to art class?
To improve his arrr-t skills!
What do pirates eat for breakfast?
Cereal on the seven seas!
Why did the pirate go to music class?
To learn the arrr-guitar!
What do pirates call their phones?
Cell-arrr phones!
Why did the pirate sit on a pillow?
To make his plank comf-arrr-table!
What’s a pirate’s favorite candy?
Jaw-arrr-breakers!
How do pirates say goodbye?
Sea you later, matey!
Why did the pirate carry a ladder?
To reach the crow’s nest!
What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
Arrr-nuts and bolts!
Why did the pirate bring a notebook?
To write down all his arrr-ventures!
How do pirates like their eggs?
Scrambl-arrr-ed!
Why did the pirate go to the bakery?
To get some buccaneer buns!
What do pirates put on their toast?
Arrr-jam!
Why did the pirate climb the playground slide?
To reach the top arrr!
What is a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrr-t class!
Why did the pirate bring a flashlight?
To find hidden treasure!
What’s a pirate’s favorite fruit?
Arrr-nanas!
Why did the pirate bring a teddy bear?
To guard his treasure!
How do pirates stay in shape?
By doing planks!
What do pirates drink on a hot day?
Argh-ade!
Why did the pirate take a nap on the deck?
To rest his sea legs!
What do pirates wear on sunny days?
Arrr-glasses!
Why did the pirate put a clock on his ship?
To keep arrr-time!
How do pirates clean their ships?
With a mop-arrr!
What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday?
Talk Like a Pirate Day!
What’s a pirate’s favorite sandwich?
Arrr-tichoke spread!
Why did the pirate bring a kite?
To fly it over the arrr-sea!
What do pirates say before bedtime?
Sleep tight, matey!
Best Pirate Joke
Why did the pirate bring a telescope?
To see arrr-ound the corner!
What do pirates do on a rainy day?
They play in the puddle seas!
Why did the pirate put a pillow on the plank?
To make it more comf-arrr-table!
What’s a pirate’s favorite dessert?
Treasure chest cake!
Why did the pirate bring a pencil to the beach?
To draw arrr-t maps in the sand!
What do pirates call a party?
An arrr-ganized bash!
Why did the pirate take a nap in the crow’s nest?
To rest at a high arrr!
What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Arrr-tichokes!
Why did the pirate bring a notebook?
To write down all his arrr-ventures!
How do pirates greet each other?
Ahoy, matey!
Why did the pirate wear sunglasses at night?
He had too much arrr-titude!
What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
Chips on the ship!
Why did the pirate bring a ladder?
To climb to the crow’s nest!
How do pirates like their eggs?
Scrambl-arrr-ed!
Why did the pirate bring a flashlight?
To find hidden treasure!
What do pirates drink in the morning?
Argh-ade!
Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrr-ticulation!
What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?
Booty and the Beast!
Why did the pirate carry a broom?
To sweep the seven seas!
How do pirates stay in shape?
By doing planks!
Why did the pirate take a rubber duck on board?
For bath-time adventures!
What’s a pirate’s favorite candy?
Jaw-arrr-breakers!
Why did the pirate bring a map to the playground?
So he wouldn’t get arrr-lost!
How do pirates say goodbye?
Sea you later, matey!
Why did the pirate go to the bakery?
To get some buccaneer buns!
What do pirates put on their toast?
Arrr-jam!
Why did the pirate climb the slide?
To reach the top arrr!
What’s a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrr-t class!
Why did the pirate bring a teddy bear?
To guard his treasure!
Why did the pirate wear boots to school?
To stomp through the classroom seas!
What do pirates say before bedtime?
Sleep tight, matey!
Why did the pirate put a clock on his ship?
To keep arrr-time!
How do pirates clean their ships?
With a mop-arrr!
Why did the pirate bring a kite?
To fly it over the arrr-sea!
What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday?
Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Why did the pirate go to music class?
To learn the arrr-chestra!
Corny Pirate Jokes
Why did the pirate bring a pencil to the ship?
To draw his arrr-t map!
What do pirates put on their sandwiches?
Arrr-mayo!
Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrr-ticulation!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good arrr-angement!
Why did the pirate take a nap on the deck?
To rest his sea legs!
What’s a pirate’s favorite dessert?
Treasure chest cake!
Why did the pirate carry a ladder?
To climb to the crow’s nest!
How do pirates like their eggs?
Scrambl-arrr-ed!
Why did the pirate bring a map to the playground?
So he wouldn’t get arrr-lost!
What’s a pirate’s favorite fruit?
Arrr-nanas!
Why did the pirate sit on a pillow?
To make his plank comf-arrr-table!
What do pirates drink in the morning?
Argh-ade!
Why did the pirate bring a flashlight?
To find hidden treasure!
How do pirates greet each other?
Ahoy, matey!
Why did the pirate take a rubber duck on board?
For bath-time adventures!
What’s a pirate’s favorite candy?
Jaw-arrr-breakers!
Why did the pirate bring a notebook?
To write down all his arrr-ventures!
What do pirates wear on sunny days?
Arrr-glasses!
Why did the pirate go to the bakery?
To get some buccaneer buns!
How do pirates stay in shape?
By doing planks!
Why did the pirate put a clock on his ship?
To keep arrr-time!
What’s a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrr-t class!
Why did the pirate climb the slide?
To reach the top arrr!
How do pirates say goodbye?
Sea you later, matey!
Why did the pirate carry a broom?
To sweep the seven seas!
What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
Chips on the ship!
Why did the pirate bring a kite?
To fly it over the arrr-sea!
Why did the pirate wear boots to school?
To stomp through the classroom seas!
What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday?
Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Why did the pirate go to music class?
To learn the arrr-chestra!
Why did the pirate wear sunglasses at night?
He had too much arrr-titude!
What do pirates put on their toast?
Arrr-jam!
Why did the pirate take a nap in the crow’s nest?
To rest at a high arrr!
What do pirates call a party?
An arrr-ganized bash!
Why did the pirate bring a teddy bear?
To guard his treasure!
What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Arrr-tichokes!
